Friday, June 28, 2013

It's My Fault You're a Single-Mom?

This has been long overdue. I guess it has taken me so long to write and publish this because of an inner struggle. You see, there's a small part of me that really doesn't want to feel this way. Then there's another part of me-a great part of me-that has been forced to feel this way.

It is not my fault that you're a single-mom! I didn't get you pregnant at 19 just to disappear. I never fathered your children for a few years and then vanished. I don't owe you any child support. In fact, I've been everything that they weren't-a father.

Yes, I have bought diapers. I have bought birthday cards and gifts. I have helped with homework and school assignments. I have bought school supplies. I have bought school clothes. Yes, I have filled that void more than once; I have been a father to children not my own.

So why dump baggage on me? Why take out anger and disappointment on me? Did I get them pregnant, then turn my back on  her and the child? I don't even know the guys that got them pregnant; what did I do? What do I have to do with their transgressions? 

I've never had an issue with dating a single-mom in times past. Now I do. My last relationship was such a disaster in every way possible that I do not see myself romantically involved with a single-mom again.

Why? To them, I was nothing but a financial hero, not someone apart of the family. She's not really looking for you to be a husband and a father. The child or children feel the same way; you aren't the father and when the opportunity presented itself, I was reminded of that truth-I am not the father, I am just someone that is making things better for them. 

In addition, single-moms happen to be an emotional roller coaster. They have unresolved issues and have no problem dropping their load of issues on the man's shoulders. This isn't all single-moms, but a great majority. My experience with single-moms have been nothing but turmoil, hostility, and mental anguish. 

Perhaps the best thing to do is not date single-moms . . .

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