The First Date . . .

As promised, The First Date. The first date is where we make the first impression. We make sure that we are well-groomed. We have on our best outfit. We spray ourselves down with our best cologne or perfume. But we tend to make that big mistake: spend too much money or give up sex.

The first date should not entail sex or spending excessive money. Some of you have now lost interest. For those of you that are still reading, ask yourselves, "What is the first date?"

The first date is an interview. Nothing more, nothing less. Again, if you're a man or a woman of quality and substance, you will respect this perspective. The first date should NEVER be a dinner and a movie.  The first date is supposed to be two potential partners learning about each other. This requires complete, intense, undivided attention-just as when you're on an interview.

Great places to hold such interviews are bookstores or coffee shops. I prefer two-in-one: Barnes and Nobles with a Starbucks, or a Borders with a coffee shop. Why is this essential? Primarily, a bookstore will indicate if the applicant is into reading and what kind of literature interests that person. After the two of you have some chatter while browsing through some aisles, it's time to grab a cup of tea or coffee with a danish and really get to know each other.

Why is this perfect? It's quiet. It's serene. It creates an atmosphere to get close, but not too close. It forces eye contact. You get to read body language. Ultimately, the two of you get to have an one-on-one dialogue. Allow the conversation to signify what that person has to offer you, or what you have to offer that person. Just as you would sell yourself on an interview, sell yourself on the first date (no pun intended, lol). 

Most women want a guy that is romantic, sentimental, sensitive, financially stable, family oriented, and physically endowed. Highlight your qualities just as you would on an interview. Most men prefer a woman that is employed, drama-free with no children, and financially responsible. Personally, I prefer a woman that stimulates me mentally, is emotionally stable, financially responsible, and has a high sex-drive.

Nevertheless, the first date should be a means of you finding out whether or not that person has what you are looking for in a spouse. Ask the necessary questions. Take the time to get to know that person. If that person succeeds on this interview, that person must take the "three-part" interview.

This interview is where the ideal applicant meets your family. Your family must interview this applicant because your family is the company or organization that this applicant wants to be apart of, right? If you apply for a job, after you succeed on the first interview, don't you take a three-part interview? Aren't you asked a series of questions by different sorts of managers? So be ready to meet the parents and annoying siblings.

Fellas, once she passes both interviews, then you can take her out for a dinner and a movie. Ladies, once he passes both interviews and proves himself worthy, then you can give him a feel of your ruby. It doesn't get any better than this.

The Girlfriend Application

The Girlfriend Application

Relationships require work. It involves labor. Physical labor. Emotional labor. Mental labor. Financial labor. Spiritual labor. You get the point, right? 

Like with most jobs, before you get hired, you must fill out an application and undergo an interview. Well, if relationships are jobs, why aren't people filling out applications and undergoing interviews? 

The Girlfriend Application is not merely a jab at the female gender. It is an application that every man should hand to any female of romantic interest. This application is supposed to deter arguing, bickering, financial debt, headaches, stress and everything else that accompanies a relationship with a woman that is not compatible. Although it lacks some important material that address elements such as emotional, financial, behavioral, and mental, overall, it is still is valuable. 

What are some of the highlights of this application? The applicant is forced to be informative. Immediately, she lets her potential companion know whether or not she has any children. Why is this imperative? Some men are no longer interested in dating women that have children. Personally, I met a woman that did not tell me she had a child until I asked and I need to know whether or not my potential mate has children or not.

In addition, the applicant is compelled to address her sex life. Is she sexually promiscuous? Why is this important? Her past determines your future. Do you really want a woman that has been around the neighborhood? I didn't think so. So if you meet a woman that has had 20 sex partners and she is only 25, a red flag should be thrown. Given the case if you're a man of quality and substance. Personally, I do not want a woman that has sucked a hundred expletive. Let's not forget to mention that she just might have a STD from her sexual promiscuity. 

My favorite? Does she work out? I love to exercise. I like to be fit and in shape. It's only fair that my companion is fit and in shape, too. Most guys just want a woman that has shape (i.e., hour glass, coke bottle) and not a woman that is in shape. So if you're the health and fitness kind of guy, this inquiry is very helpful.

Now of course every guy is different. Some guys don't even care if a woman has kids, if she's employed, or if she's in shape; as long as he can get a expletive, he is A-O-K. For those us that are looking for something more than just an ejaculation, a girlfriend application is a necessity. I suggest that you download, print, and use this application. Let that woman know that a relationship is a job! If she wants the position of girlfriend, she has to be the ideal candidate. She has to first fill out an application to see if she qualifies. Once she completes the application, the first date should be the interview.

What should the first date entail? Definitely not the traditional dinner and then a movie. I will have The First Date for you by tomorrow.

Special recognition to my boy Uncle Paulie for uploading this application to Facebook.