"I'll Marry You If . . ."

I'll Marry You, by andRe Christos Helios

Black women love to complain that there aren't any available black men. Their rhetoric is that black men are either incarcerated or covert homosexuals. As for the ones that are neither, they are already married.

Well, I'm available and I'll take your offer on marriage if you're not a single mother. I'm available and I'll take your offer on marriage if you have a job. I'm available and I'll take your offer on marriage if you're not overweight. I'll marry you if you have self-confidence. I'll marry you if you have high-self esteem. I'll marry you if you are self-motivated. I'll marry you if you are financially responsible. I'll marry if you're strong-minded. I'll marry you if you believe in progress. I'll marry you if you're emotionally stable. 

I'll marry you. I will marry you. Deal? Fair enough? Don't have any children. Don't be overweight. Don't be emotionally unstable. Don't have any issues. Don't be unemployed. Don't be irrational. Don't be childish. Don't be irresponsible. Ultimately, don't be a bitch. I promise, I will marry you.

Oh -- don't wear a weave, either. Thanks.